Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

So here's how the day has gone so far.
- Fell asleep on the couch last night, woke up about 3 and took a shower then because I knew it wouldn't happen in the morning. Went to bed again about 6.
- Clint sets his alarm for before 5:00 so that he can shut it off 3 or 4 times before getting up. Does this charm any other women out there when their hubbies do this?
- Once I'm partially awake (I'm never fully awake until after lunch) he wants to discuss what we're going to prepare for the funeral meal the church is hosting. Really? At 7:00? He's decided mac - n - cheese and deviled eggs are on the menu.
- The kids begged their dad for malt-o-meal and he said sure...and then he left. Thanks Dad. Cold cereal would have been much quicker, but hey, we can get it done...hot breakfast, deviled eggs, mac - n - cheese, lunch and a supper to prepare and take with us for somewhere between art lessons and the visitation and I'll home school all the kids and get the mandatory laundry done. Mandatory because it will swallow us whole if we don't do a couple loads a day. This has been grossly exaggerated lately because of all the mud that my children apparently ROLL IN when they go out to feed the calves.
- Dalton insists on making the malt - o - meal. He loves to cook. Anyone who has a child who loves to cook knows that this means more work for you, not less.
- I thought, "I'll get the two middle ones started on school while the malt - o - meal man does his work in the kitchen." Not so much. Interrupted several times but finally malt - o - meal is served....with a surprise! Dalton has made hot chocolate for everyone.
- I chose to fold the 3 loads of laundry in the living room floor during their breakfast. This of course encouraged everyone to act like they'd lost their minds during breakfast. Apparently we train them to behave ONLY WHEN WE'RE WATCHING. Whatever.
- On to the next item. Time for kindergarten reading and writing while Dalton does his music lessons. Guess what? Dalton has decided today is the day he shall master the guitar. "Not a good idea Bub. You need to work independently today." That was not received with listening ears. So while Luke has conveniently forgotten his alphabet Dalton is trying to tune the guitar. :-)
- What's that smell? Oh dear - the boiling water for the deviled eggs has completely boiled itself dry. Fill pot again.
- "Yes, Dalton, I will tune the guitar." "LUKE! Nevermind about the alphabet. Just sit down and we'll start your phonograms." See, the phonograms demand my complete attention so I know he'll get that accomplished. Of course Sissy is sitting there with all of the alphabet completed patiently waiting for the next thing.
-A while later - halfway through phonogram review - what's that smell? Boiling water. Never put the eggs in. Head to kitchen to put eggs on. Finally.
-L and MC are FINALLY finished with LA and math. Head to help Dalton with the guitar. What's that dinging? Ice box is open. What's that smell? Charlie has come out of hiding (upstairs) and he's pooped his pants. FAN. TAS. TIC. Daddy put a consequence on that one so I have to follow through. And then clean up the mess. EGGS! Get the eggs off the stove and put them in cold water.
-Bang! Bang! Bang! Hubby is banging on door because he can't get in. Don't get me started on the locking mechanisms we use to keep the exterior door shut on the house. 'Nother day, 'nother story.
-Head to the bathroom to brush teeth and wash face. Yes, I have not yet brushed my teeth for the day. Luke is in there going potty. He doesn't lift the lid. He sprays the entire toilet and then leaves the bathroom. NOT SO FAST SIR SPRAYS ALOT. So he wipes that up.
-The little kids play, Dalton and I get through two hours of guitar, piano, violin. Bless his heart he is so passionate and works so diligently but I am not trained in all of these instruments so I have to work myself just to stay ahead him.
-Past time for lunch. Way past time for lunch. But the malt-o-meal and hot chocolate was late so hopefully no one minds.
Dalton wants to make whop - biscuit pizzas. Fine. Get out the biscuits. I'll make some sauce. What's that smell? Charlie?! You've got to be kidding me. Administer another consequence. He replies, "That wasn't enough." SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!!! Thin ice. This child is on thin ice. Who cares if he is potty trained by the time he's 4. WILL HE BE ALIVE TO TURN 4 IS THE QUESTION!!!!!
-I ask MC to peel the hard boiled eggs. She's excellent at this task and loves to do it. Charlie and Luke decide to help. NOT EXCELLENT AT THIS TASK. I come into the kitchen and Charlie is scooping out the "balls" from the eggs. The eggs (except for MC's pile) are completely trashed. Mish - mashed pile of whites with shells mixed in and nice neat pile of "balls". Luke is not intentionally doing anything wrong, but he is just not talented at peeling the egg shells off in a neat fashion. That is the nice way I'm going to say that.
- I start over with the eggs and tell the kids to make pb&j sandwiches. I peel off the ruined eggs and let them eat what's still eatable. Luke decides Charlie's little balls were a GREAT idea and starts flicking them around the table. Getting out of my presence immediately is the only hope for this one so he heads to his room.
- MC helps me yet again with the eggs. Charlie, who has been eating his sandwich announces, "I just peed in my pants." Sometimes I wonder about him. Why would you tell me that? Wouldn't you just keep that to yourself and go on upstairs for nap time? Wouldn't you? After dealing with that I come back to the kitchen to clean up all of the rest of the mess. Of which there is a lot. MC is getting ready for naps and going potty.
- "EEEEWWWWW!" MC screams from bathroom. "Somebody peed all over the floor and I stepped in it!" I tell her to change socks. Do you think she takes off the yucky socks before running through the house for new socks? Nah. She finally gets on new socks and then after a few minutes comes out of the bathroom. "Mama? Um, I peed all over my jeans. Not my panties, just my jeans." Is that even possible? ARgadsit9ua5-08Q7389UOIKNQ09WPO!!!!!!!!!!!! "Alright, sweetheart. Please take them off and just go lay down without any on."

So far, there is nothing on the menu for supper, there is no mac and cheese for the funeral dinner, Dalton has done nothing for school but reading and music and it is now 2:00. We leave for town at 4:00. I am in my jammies, hair piled on top of my head, have not taken a drink or eaten a bite of anything all day long, and am thankful that I had brushed my teeth before the census taker came to the door around noon. She had a funny look on her face but I'm just glad she was a she. Most people in the middle of the country who have a hook and eye for a door lock and two hound dogs lazing in the mud don't answer the door with an expensive violin and bow in hand. Here's a note for the census: just because we all live out here doesn't make us uncultured, uneducated or unclean. (Well, maybe a little of that last part.) And by "all" I do mean our friends, neighbors and family that live out here, not just us. We just don't expect visitors. Except for the UPS man. My hubby buys everything off of Ebay so we see him a lot. We don't get strange looks from him (anymore) he just drops off the packages and runs for the truck.

Is it obvious why I took a shower at 3:00 am?

So. That's not a typical day here. But it does happen about once a month. Just as I typed that last word there was a loud crack of thunder. Oooo-ah-ah-ah-ah.